You Asked For It, You Got It. Thanks Commish.

Y&R THL Headquarters, Toronto, ON

It’s a Y&R THL first. Earlier today, Commissioner Govang said, “In the coming weeks, exact date still TBD, I am instating the first-ever All-Star Tournament and Skills Competition. That’s right, Skills Competition.” As the cameras flashed, Govang raised his hand with authority, “What do I have to do to get you to not take pictures of me while I am speaking?! Put down the cameras and pick up the tape recorders and pens or this press conference is over!”

After the league intern, Matt Robinson, finished massaging Govang’s shoulders, instantly calming him down, he continued, “I will confer with the teams and pick a night after work where we hold the All-Star tourney; a single elimination event with the winner being the only team not to lose. But the most exciting news is that before the All-Star games, we are going to hold the Skills Competition. Each team will select their best players to compete in 3 events highlighting the significant skills that only a lifetime of practice can achieve. The three events will be as follows:

1. Fanciest goal – You want to WOW the fans. Three chances to sink it in the net. Player with the coolest trick shot wins.

2. Speed passing – Fastest player to pass the puck to each player on the ice and finishing with a goal. Every position must at least touch the puck. Fastest time wins.

3. Longest shot – Each team will get three chances to shoot the puck around the boards to see who gets the puck the farthest. Farthest distance wins.

So there you have it ladies and gents of the press. We are very excited up here in the management box and look forward to an exciting event. This will be the most exciting season of table hockey yet. This would not be possible if the way were not paved by the previous Commish.

There will be chips ahoy cookies, Lays chips and free beer available during the event. Tickets will go on sale starting at 10am tomorrow at ticketmaster.com. Feel free to take my picture now.”

This should be a very entertaining season and we, here at La Gazette in Montreal, can’t wait to report on the events as they unfold. We have already spotted teams practicing. This is going to be good.